Agastya sat a seats behind Zara, when he calls out her name.

"Zaraa" Agastya said, teasingly when she looked back and went a bit near him.

"Hmm?" She asked, raising her furrows.

"Did you study for today's test?" Agastya asked, when Zara first looked confused then straight up shook her head.

"A single piece of paper ain't ruin my future, and anyways I was not in the mood to study" she said, shrugging of the thoughts of test.

"Aren't you scared at all, Zara?" Shreya asked.

"It's just a test, Shreya not like her finals who'll see" Anirudh spoke, when Zara nods at him. "Come'n you toppers, let normal people survive"

"Hmm, now you get at her side, you couldn't take my side"

"Yeah, because you're a dumb topper" Anirudh said, laughing at him.

"At least better than the one who studied for boards from youtube's one shot that too on 4 AM sitting in the car"

"At least he prepared, I gave up on studying and started reading novels" Zara meddled, when three of them laughed at her.

"Seriously thou?" Anirudh asked, as the teacher entered in the class.

Zara, sat quietly on her seat while she'd feel a sharp gaze on her. Anirudh, sitting next to Agastya smacked on his shoulder.

"Oww, what is it?" Agastya asked, making a face.

"Stop looking her like that, you look like a creep, fucker!" Anirudh whispered in his ear.

"Even you do it with Shreya" Agastya said.

"Yeah, because we're in a situationship kind of thing... and not like you that the girl doesn't cares about my feelings, and I don't droll on her, whatever the feelings are— they're mutual." Anirudh explained, while Agastya rolls his eyes.

"Why're you in mood to declare me as a creep, you dumbo"

"Because you're a creep, no doubt" Anirudh said.

"Last bench" the teacher said, throwing up chalk on Anirudh's shirt. "You both, if the gossip is so important, so tell me too.... Specially you Anirudh, you are neither good in studies nor in listening, what will happen to you?"

There was a silence in the room, when everyone started laughing at him. The teacher commanded Anirudh to exchange his seat with Zara.

Agastya smiled a bit, as he heard the name of Zara, while Anirudh who was feeling humiliated now suddenly rushed and sit next to Shreya.

"Look, even our destiny wants us to sit together" Agastya said, when Zara gave him an eye roll.

"Study, I don't want to be the highlight" Zara said.

"Damn Zara, you sometimes feel like studying too? I thought you just love to sleep or read novels" Agastya taunted when she hits him with a pen.

"Maybe you should also opt a new feeling— to stay quiet and listen" Zara said, taking out her novel.

"God forbid, a guy loves to yap , why'd I change myself?"

She didn't said anything, but just gave him a look.

"This... why do you love to give me a look like that, come'n Zara, I feel so judged" Agastya asked, making a pout when Zara looked at him.

"God forbid, a girl loves to judge" Zara mimicked in the same tone, when a smile came on her face.

"Damn, you smilee?" He whispered in her ears, a smile came on his face. "Keep this smile and talk as much as you want, because more than yapping I'd love to listen to your yapping"

Zara was too stunned to speak. Nobody ever liked her talking so much, and the more she tried to forget— she'd remember the most painful person who gave her those moments— her ex— Tanav.

She still remembered how he just used her, calling her as his everything... and then use her like a trash can.

She loved talking with him— only him, where she wanted someone to listen to her, but he didn't, rather he just criticised... a-lot, and then it was Agastya— who was asking her to talk.

All this was nothing much for Agastya, as he always thought it as those random words, but for Zara it was more than anything.

Words of affirmation.

She looked on the board, her heart racing.

"No.... I can't trust anyone again" she repeated in her mind, love was a far thing, she couldn't think of the trust with him. She didn't wanted to be emotionally involved and then insulted in everyone's eyes— all again.

And the fact that she can't trust him, made her overthink how difficult is it to even live anymore— the constant struggle of not being able to move on from the past, the stiff hollowness, where she can't make some friends, trust anyone, the constant comparison of past and present made her so confused.

She couldn't think about a single name— she'd like to share her thoughts with. She looked at him for the last time, when he was quietly solving the questions teacher gave, while Zara's notebook was empty, not a single thing written.

Agastya sighed, taking her notebook, and noting down the questions. It was accountancy questions, which he wrote down with answers.

"This is how we maintain a notebook" he smiled— passing the notebook back to her as class ended. The notebook had all the key concepts of the class, along with solved problems. "Ask if you've any doubts"

Zara kept looking at the notebook, even those clear written words were not understandable for her, the voices in her head were louder than any of the questions.

"What happened, Zara?" He asked, when she shook her head at him.

"Nothing..." she said, "I was just thinking"

She lied to him. She could never tell anyone about the stuff in her head, it has always started from a normal said sentence— but she could never understand how big it changed, in a span of few minutes.

Zara's hand instinctively moved towards her hand, scratching her arm. Agastya looked at her, who was scratching those scars, the lines started to get redder.

He didn't wanted her to know that he knew, so neither did he flinch nor reacted to the situation, instead a smile lingered on his face.

"Zara" he weakly smiled, when she noticed that she was scratching her own scars.

"Hmm" Zara asked, looking at him, hoping that he hasn't seen anything.

"You understood?" He asked, pointing at the notebook, when Zara quickly kept her arm down the table.

"...yeah" she said, almost confused.

"Where were you lost, Zara?" Agastya asked, when she shook her head. A sudden pain erupted from the scratches on her hand, as the last one was from the last night only.

Zara pressed her palm over her wrist under the table, hiding it completely. The sting was sharp now, as if her body was punishing her for letting her thoughts drift.

Agastya wanted to look away, to pretend he hadn't seen the thin lines grow angrier under her touch — but he couldn't. He kept his expression still, only his thumb nervously tapping the edge of her notebook.

Zara forced out a faint laugh, trying to fill the silence. "Guess I was lost in thoughts of how much I hate accounts."

Her tone was light, but it didn't reach her eyes.

Agastya smiled softly, playing along. "You and half the population."
He wanted to say more — to ask what she was really thinking — but he bit his tongue. He knew that kind of question could break whatever fragile wall she had left between them.

Zara stared at the open page again, pretending to read what he'd written. The letters blurred, the pain still pulsing beneath her sleeve.

****
Siddharth and Aaradhya joined Agastya Zara as they were coming back together. Aaradhya sat with Zara, who was ranting how she enjoyed watching Sid's face in class, when he was all flustered. Everything she talked about , went straight to Sid.

"You like him, right?" Zara asked, biting her lips, when Aaradhya looked away. Her lips parted, she hesitated. Zara was an introvert, but never the one who didn't spoke what comes to her mind— or something she felt was to say.

"Who likes whom?" Siddharth asked, standing up as he was sitting next to them with Agastya.

Aaradhya who was quiet till now, finally spoke. "No matter whosoever likes, nobody likes you. You rotten ass"

"As if guys are dying for you, laal naak vali emoji ka real life face" Siddharth said.

"Haan, and you know whom you resemble? That monkey's emoji. If you'll see your face in mirror, you'll question your life so bad, just look at Zara, she's so pretty and you..."

"Just because you want to call me ugly, stop comparing me with Zara, I'm much more better than her in every aspect" Sid said, sitting back.

"Hm"
Zara hummed, rolling her eyes.

"Siblings talk" Aaradhya commented.

Zara nodded at her, biting her lips.

"Why're you serious whole the time" Aaradhya asked, when she shook her head, showing a faint smile on her face.

"You know... school and everything else... it's tiring" she said.

"Nothing else, right?" Aaradhya asked, smile lingering on her face.

"Nothing." Zara curved a smile, back to her.

"If there is anything, so you can come to me anytime. And where is shreya?"

"She's busy. There is some function at her home, anyways, when are you free? I feel like we can go to beach someday" Zara initiated, but somehow sank in the guilt of asking. What if she feels weird?

Her mind raced with all the conversation she just had.

"Count me in" Aaradhya nods.

But the uneasiness didn't seem to dust away— the voices in her head growing louder.

Every noise where she was perplexed, her voice ringing in her own head.

"Zara, why're you so lost?" Aaradhya asked, as the bus stopped.

"Nowhere"

*********

"Zara" Agastya intervened as she was going back to her home. She turned at him.

"Hmm?"

"You want to study? Like Aaradhya will be there in the evening if you want to come and study accounts I'll help you make notes" Agastya suggested, when Zara shrugged her shoulders, nodding.

"No problem, anyways we've our monthly exams in a month, it's better if I study a bit" she said, going inside her house.

Agastya, who was standing steady now jumped in excitement. "Yes" he mumbled under his breath.

****

It was evening, and Zara stood up to get ready. It wasn't like she was interested in Agastya or something, but a hope for being better at whatever she's now kept her steady.

She wanted to have a routine, where she isn't dozed off for the whole day and had to get scolded by her parents.

[Her Outfit]

she was all ready to go, when a message rang. It was him.

Agastya:

Zara, I'm sorry, but I've some important work today, maybe some other day

Zara:

Fs <3

She typed down, before she threw the phone on bed, and then lay down herself.

"Maybe it's easier to stop expecting" she said, as she lays on her bed, not even knowing when she ends up sleeping.

****

TBC <3