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Agastya didn't knew one thing and that was when did he started falling for her. Was it just the first meet? Where he saw her and fell for her?

Was it just an attraction!?
But the more he got to know about her, the more he stayed with her.... He slowly began to know what is it when those popular writers wrote 'love'

It isn't just a feeling of attraction, but an attachment to that person- where you want to talk with them, to make them feel comfortable, safe, to get a feeling of connection with them.

He's seen many reels about love and always wondered how is it even possible staring just at a single person.

Of course, after the way his father cheated on his mother, right after her death.... He never got the feeling of love.

Behind that nonchalant, smiling and not giving a f*ck guy was a child who needed love.

But the only thing he knew at that point was that you can never understand the comfort of jeans until you keep wearing the pyjamas- so it was a new experience for him, to fall for someone.

It was a normal day in class, Zara was sitting with Shreya and he was sitting with Anirudh.

"Aur bhai, koi hadsa nahi hua na?" Agastya mocked Anirudh, as always after once Shreya and Anirudh got in an accident

"Shut up" Anirudh muttered.

"Won't you call me by names that can lead us to gay allegations?" Agastya asked.

"I've no intention to say anything here, or sooner or later, people are going to say that an attractive 10/10 guy got attracted to a -5/10 guy" Anirudh said.

Agastya, who was carelessly sitting now leaned on the bench and looked at him. "Who's -5?" Agastya asked

"You, who else" Anirudh said, taking a hand through his hairs, "and I'm already in love with a girl"

"Hm hm, I see," Agastya said, as he looked forward at the seat Zara was sitting. The teacher was late, class was making a chaos, while she was silently sitting, keeping a hand on her ears. Some kids were shouting, someone talking about those dark comedy shows, giving abuses or uncomfortable comments for no reason.

All this doesn't take more than a minute to overwhelm Zara. She was sensitive to loud noises and it triggers her super bad.

"Oyii, you shouldn't look a girl for this long" Anirudh interrupted, but he knew something was odd. The way she kept her hands on her ears.

Agastya's eyes were just on her, forgetting that anyone else was there even.

Before she'd feel more uncomfortable, Agastya went to her. "Zara, you and Shreya can go and call sir?"

A smile came on her face, as the girls stood up and left the class. He'd seen it before, when they went to mall, she was acting in the same way,

"Guys!" Agastya shouted in the midst of class, the loud chaos took a pause. He was that imitating kid of the class whose words matters, or else it didn't took him a minute to get into physical fights and it was rare that anyone was up for fighting with him.

"Chup hone ka kya loge? Had hai yaaar, bahar tak jaati hai awaaz, bolna hai to thodi dhere se bolo aise janwaro ki tarah to mat chilao" Agastya said, his voice laced with anger.

"Agastya- you yourself look so annoyed, how can you ask someone else when you yourself are taking so loud" A guy, Arnav pointed while Agastya sighed. He wasn't in the mood of fighting with anyone.

The class hooted at Arnav's reply unless Agastya smirked again, "there is a well known difference in between telling someone and casually mocking someone while shouting, so don't open your mouth without thinking twice, or next time I'll punch you super hard in the same way- without thinking twice"

The teacher finally walked in, and the class settled down like nothing had happened. Agastya leaned back in his seat, tapping his pen against the desk,

"Iss school ke founder ka beta hai na tabhi nak itni uchi rehti hai, batata hu isko school se bahar nikle" Arnav mumbled, his voice loud enough to be heard.

Agastya who was calmly sitting on his bench, now froze, because he heard what he said- and Agastya wasn't the one who believed in second chances or calmness.

As soon as the class ended, Agastya held Arnav by his collar. Arnav barely had time to register what was happening before Agastya's hand tightened on his collar, yanking him forward so their faces were inches apart.

"I'll beat you super bad, Arnav" Agastya shouted in the midst of class, when the entire class looked at them.

"And then again get slapped by your father in front of the entire school?" Arnav mocked, pushing him back. Arnav sat back on his seat, when Zara looked at Agastya... he was blinking his eyes quickly, as if it was to avoid his tears.

He'd a stoic face, which could crack any time and she somehow hated it... even if she didn't liked him that much, that facade of his hurts her.

The classes went as if nothing happened. Agastya sat quietly, while Anirudh looked at him in worry.

AT THE END OF THE DAY

"Leave me alone, Anirudh" Agastya murmured, while walking forward but Anirudh being Anirudh held him.

"Aise kaise, tu stress mat le, vo ek nonsense admi hai" Anirudh said, tagging on with him, when Agastya rolled his eyes.

"Aise kaise na lu? Har baari try karta hu inn sabse bachne ki, tereko nahi pata na how it feels to be humiliated in between of an army of students? Who laughed at you"
Agastya said, his voice laced with frustration.

Anirudh opened his mouth to reply, but Agastya had already shrugged him off and walked ahead, shoving his bag strap higher on his shoulder. His pace was fast, like he wanted to outrun the entire day.

From the corner of the corridor, Zara causing sight of him. She'd been waiting for Shreya, but her eyes followed Agastya instead. There was something about the way his shoulders were stiff, like he was holding every word, every feeling, behind a locked door.

She didn't say anything — she never did when it came to him. But she didn't look away either.

Agastya didn't notice her. Or maybe he did and chose not to.

All he knew was that the noise of the corridor felt the same as the chaos in his head — too many voices, too many eyes, all ready to laugh if he slipped even once.

By the time he reached the school gate, his hands were clenched so tight his knuckles had gone pale. He hated that Arnav's words stayed with him, that they had dug under his skin like splinters.

For Zara, watching him walk away with that hollowed-out look did something to her chest.

It wasn't sympathy — at least not entirely — but the sharp sting of recognition. She knew what it was like to have someone cut you down in front of a crowd, to be slapped and humiliated while everyone watched. The last time it happened, she was in 10th grade, in the middle of a family function, when her mother's palm connected with her cheek as if it were the most casual thing in the world.

She wanted to console him, but at the same time she knew how sympathy at that time sucks.

"Zara, where are you lost? Don't you want to sit in the bus?" Sid asked, when she simply bit her lips and nodded with a frown.
The only seat which was empty was next to Agastya. Siddharth sat next to Anirudh while Aaradhya went with Shreya.

Zara kept her bag on her lap, while he quietly looked outside the window. In a few days, all Zara saw was his energetic side which was always ready to talk but something in Agastya broke today. He wasn't the same one, and the least thing Zara knew was to console.

So she sat quietly. The bus jolted forward, the faint hum of the engine mixing with the muffled chatter from the back seats. Zara could feel the gap between them — not physical, but like an invisible wall that neither dared to touch.

She kept her gaze fixed on the road ahead, yet her eyes betrayed her, stealing glances at him through the reflection in the glass. His jaw was tight, his fingers tapping restlessly against his thigh.

For a second, she wanted to say something — anything — but every phrase in her mind felt too heavy.

"Hmm..." Zara hummed passing him a chit- while Agastya raised his frown looking at her. "This is my time table whenever I go out, so better learn how to wear handkerchief on your head"

Agastya didn't respond quickly, turning to the another side, when Zara looked at him.
She knew words wouldn't impact him, so she just took out a chocolate and gave it to him.

"Hmm" Zara muttered as she handled the chocolate to him.

"Zara...." Agastya said, when she turned her head away.

"Hmm?" She asked raising her furrows.

"I know you suck at consoling, as much as you do in your conversation skills, so don't worry I didn't pressurise you" he said, when she rolls her eyes in pure frustration.

He smiled at her, when Zara turned her face to another direction in awkwardness.

"I wasn't going to give you a shoulder to cry anyways, shirt in itself costs 2k" Zara said, not looking at him.

"The glares you give me, it's enough to tell me that you want to kill me, so I won't even ask for your shoulder" Agastya said, a smirk coming on his face.

"And yet you talk with me without any hesitation?"Zara asked, crisscrossing her arms.

Agastya simply chuckled and looked at the another side. Sometimes some strangers become family, whether that was Anirudh- whom he met in kindergarten or Siddharth whom he met a few days ago.

And now it was Zara, she didn't needed words to understand the depth of situation, she just knew how embarrassing was it for him.

She didn't tried to intervene. Her concern was strange thou- because he never expected her to do so.

"By the way, I never thought you'll actually make a time table" he teased, when Zara parted her mouth, Agastya started opening the chit with a grin only to end up watching an empty piece of paper. His eyes widened, when the bus stopped.

Zara and Agastya walked down, along with Aaradhya and Siddharth walking.

"Kya hua tujhe, aise muh kyu utra hua hai?" Aaradhya asked, as she looked at his uncomfortable face, when he shook his head.

"Kuch nahi, bas I'm not feeling well" Agastya said, shooking his head negatively.

"Acha, fir bhi ye to nahi samajh aata ki why're you sulking so much?" Aaradhya asked again, when Agastya gave her an eye roll.

"Don't irritate me Aaru" Agastya mummers, shrugging off his shoulders.

"Do you have something for Zara?" Aaradhya asked bluntly as they entered the apartment, when Agastya gave a look- he turned at her, frown raised on his face.

"Huh?" Agastya asked again, acting all innocent as if he hadn't heard what girl just said.

"DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR ZARA?" Aaradhya asked again, her voice confident and firm.

"I don't know Aaru, maybe or maybe not" Agastya said, shrugging his shoulders.

"What do you mean by maybe or maybe not?" Aaradhya asked,

"I'm just confused, I don't know Aaru, and please don't end up telling it to anyone" Agastya said.

"Why'd I tell this to anyone?" Aaradhya said, shrugging her shoulders.

****

Zara sat on her bed, when she saw her elder sister Vamika munching chips, while studying.

Vamika was a third year medical student, and aspired to be a cardiologist. She was studying from AIIMS Delhi, and lived with their paternal uncle and aunt, who treated her as their own child.

Vamika turned her head up, only to look at her sister looking on her with a smile. "Oh my god Zara, you're smiling at me" Vamika teased her, as Zara almost stopped talking with her since a few months.

"Vo, di, when will you go back?" Zara asked, when Vamika raised her furrows.

"I've semester holidays, It'll be for 10 days?" She said. "Kya hua? You don't want to share the room?"

"No... of course not, I love you aise kaise I don't want to" Zara said, wrapping her sister in a warm hug. "I missed you so much"

"Hmm, but what happened to you Zara? Why do you always cover yourself?" Vamika asked, when Zara coughed a bit, shooking her head negatively. She can't even tell her feelings, behind her act because she probably feels that it'll bring shame.

Vamika gave her a side-eye but didn't push. She'd learned that with Zara, the more you try to dig, the more she shuts down. So instead, she handed her a chip.

"Fine, don't tell me. But at least eat something. You've gotten thinner."

"I'm fine," Zara said, taking the chip anyway. She chewed slowly, like her stomach wasn't sure it wanted it, before placing the rest back in the packet when Vamika wasn't looking.

For a few minutes, the only sound in the room was of AC. The cool air made her fingertips sting faintly, but she curled them into her palms and said nothing. .She changed into a suit as she was going to gurudwara with Vamika.

"Di, what do you think, people actually fall in love?" Zara asked, looking at her sister who almost laughed at her.

"What happened?" Zara asked.

"Dekh Zara, if it's girls falling for a guy so it'd be that he's giving her validation" Vamika said, keeping her packet of chips down.

"And if a boy is falling for a girl?" Zara asked, when Vamika couldn't control her laugh.

"Boys and love? What are you even saying Zaru?" Vamika laughed at her sister, "the only thing guys like are your b@@bs and thighs"

Zara's nose wrinkled in disgust, but she couldn't help the small, embarrassed smile tugging at her lips. "Di!" she said, throwing a pillow at her sister.

"What?" Vamika caught it easily, smirking. "I'm just telling you the truth. Don't waste your time thinking there's some deep, soulful thing going on in their hearts."

"Who said I was asking for myself, I've decided to never ever go in a relationship" Zara said, energetically, when her smile faltered remembering the flashbacks which were just known to her,
"...again" she muttered in her own head.

"Lo? Ab yeh bhi nahi kaha maine, I mean maze karo, umar hai bhai, vaise bhi iske baad time bhi nahi milne ka, par aise kisise dil mat laga ke beth jao, ki haan bhai ye nahi to koi nahi" Vamika said, picking her I-pad.

"Bhai I can't tell you how red flag are you sounding right now" Zara said,

"The type of guys my friends are, I can't help.... You don't have friends that's why you don't know about all this" Vamika said,  "the way they objectify girls.... I don't even like them"

"Then why're you friends with them?" Zara asked, raising her furrows.

"Survival... you'll always need someone in your life, a partner is important and when you find them, never leave them"

"The way you're preaching, how many guys did you had?" Zara grinned.

"Guys? Which guys?" Siddharth, who was standing at the door. "Who is dating here?"

"Of course not you, dumbo" Zara said, rolling her eyes at him.

"You should stop opening your mouth" Siddharth said, as he sat near Vamika.

"Vamika di, can we have a sleepover, like we used to do in childhood, it's been so long" Siddharth said, when Zara looked at him.

"We've a night out today" Zara said reminding him of her, shreya's and Aaradhya's night out.

"Haan to vo to yahi hote hai na?" Siddharth said, when Zara raised her furrows.

"Vamika di is also here for 10 days" Zara argued back to her brother, "he just wants a chance to gossip I tell you" Zara says, looking at her elder sister.

"Haan, you should be happy that I gossip" Siddharth said, "aur vaise bhi di ke college ki tea to alag hi hoti hai and I've classes right now"

"Bas baate karwalo, coaching nahi jaana kya?" Zara asked,

"Jaana hai na, vo bhi teri chipku dost ke saath, vo akeli hi itna bol leti hai na ki koi aur bol hi na sake" Siddharth said.

"Haan bechare ko competition dene vali aa gayi tabhi insecure ho raha hai" Zara said, when Sid rolled his eyes. "Ab jao maharaj"

****

Agastya sat on the corner of his room-the least thing he wanted someone to mention was his father. He detested it with all his hearts, and of course will continue to do it, after all he hated him enough.

Taking a deep sigh, he lay down on his bed. Maybe he shouldn't have given that much importance to Arnav, and none of it would've happened...

A call came from Arnav.. "piddi, dar ke betha hai, sahi hai vaise bhi itni himmat nahi hogi na ki ladkiyon ke saamne roast hone ke baad shakal bhi dekha de, I understand.... But if you've enough courage so come outside, I'm in the park downstairs, abhi koi hai bhi nahi, dum hai to aaja"

Agastya has always been the impulsive one who never thought before getting into a fight, specially when it's about his own reputation.

Agastya didn't even had a second thought, he just stormed out of the apartment, not thinking about anything. He pulled his sleeves, he ran a hand across his messy brown hairs when he walked downstairs.

Zara and Vamika entered the building as they came back from gurudwara, Zara came while Vamika went to a cafe as some of her friends were coming.

"You go upstairs, Sid isn't at home so take care Zaru" Vamika said, when Zara nodded.

She was going upstairs, when she heard some sharp noise. For a minute, she thought not to go, but her sharp instincts didn't let her do that.

Due to her fear of loud noises, Zara never got indulged into any fights, but as soon as she recognised- she couldn't stop herself.

****

TBC