ZARA

It's been a week or so since we shifted to Mumbai- far opposite for Delhi.

It was due to business handling. Bade papa took the Delhi's branch of company, while we're struck here.

It's good in every way- no past lurching on my head, neither any problem. Taking a sigh, I went near my bag. My mother was constantly shouting that we're getting late, while I'd no mood of going to school.

It was the first day of my high school and my twin was in another section. Why does this rascal wanted to have sciences? He'd simply take up commerce but no.

I'll be damn uncomfortable, I knew this well.

As I came outside my room, I'd hear my mom shouting on Sid. Her voice triggered me- always.

The sharpness of her voice pierced through the walls, slicing right into my skull. It wasn't just noise—it was a warning. My body tensed on instinct, like I was bracing for something worse.

It always started with yelling.

I gripped the staircase railing a little tighter. Breathe in. Breathe out. Pretend it's normal. Pretend I'm not twelve again, stuck in that room with the door slightly open, hearing things I wasn't supposed to.

Sid laughed like nothing was wrong. Like he hadn't trained himself to hear danger in a raised voice. Lucky him.

But I had. And I still did.

I sat on the sofa, where papa was busy was Aaj Tak, scrolling through his Facebook. He was quiet as always.

My hairs lengthened till my waist, so mumma grabbed my hairs making two braids out of it. "You don't have this much time to show laziness, just drink your milk"

Mumma said, passing me the glass of milk when I'd feel the eyes of my father.

I nodded, but I just couldn't bring myself to have it.

"Mumma, I'm not hungry" I told her, leaving the cup on the table.

I lazily stepped towards the kitchen, when our helper didi gave me our lunch, like daily.

I smiled at her, thanking her.

Sid was all busy with his phone, when mumma and papa left for their respective works.

Mumma is a cardiologist, usually busy in surgeries and appointments, while papa is a businessman, busy with boardroom meetings.

"Why're you sulking Zara? I simply want to start an IT company, and not invest anything to this company" Sid asked, it was the first time in the day where he spoke.

I shot him a look, annoyed that he read my silence like a page he's flipped a hundred times.

"You could've still taken commerce," I muttered, stuffing the tiffin into my bag. "IT companies run with brains, not physics labs."

He grinned. That grin. The one that screamed I know you too well to be offended.

I was too done with him to argue any further, because whatever Siddharth considers, he doesn't get stops until he ends up succeeding in it.

Nobody pressurised us to choose a stream- I wanted to pursue graphic designing, while Sid wanted to start up his own IT company without any family background. Our elder sister, Vamika di is a second year medico student in a university of Delhi.

She'd everything to be that perfect kid of our parents, while Sid- all he needed was his gender to be superior.

While I was a loser in every version for them, whether that was from studies or gender.

And somehow whenever I saw myself in the mirror, all I saw was a loser, unlovable piece of shit whose parents deserved better than her.

***

I was in my own flow of thoughts when Siddharth exclaimed looking at a guy. "Agastya"

Sid shouted as he proceeded to side hug him, as if they knew each other since years.

I stood with them, confused. My eyes flickered between Sid and that guy.

Chuck it, I looked at the girl standing near him.... She was literally so beautiful, like the literal definition of perfection.

She'd perfect doe- eyes and and this delicate, effortless charm that made you want to either stare or evaporate.

Her hair was glossy, tied in a half ponytail, and her smile god, that smile looked like it belonged in a toothpaste commercial or some dumb college fest poster.

"Hi" she said, as she waved. For a few minutes I looked here and there wondering who would she be waving to, but later on I figured it was me.

Shit, again I made a fun of myself.

I smiled at her, trying to keep it real, when she came and introduced herself to me.

"Hi, I'm Aaradhya- we met Siddharth the day you guys came" she said, pointing at the guy Siddharth was talking a few minutes ago, and then it connected dots.

Sid is as much a social animal, unlike me he loves to talk with every possible being in this universe.

"He didn't even told that he'd a sister any before" the guy standing there complained as if Sid was his husband. Jerk.

"I thought that should come as a surprise for you" Siddharth smirked, "and you're the one in same class so take care of my sister well" Siddharth laughed.

I took a deep sigh. The fuck, he is in my class?

He didn't looked at me, so I just played to not look back at him.

Anyways, once glimpse of him was enough to tell me that he isn't my type- I'd feel his energy.

That loud, extrovert, talkative backbencher bitch. My type is completely opposite, that introvert, nerd boy with a mysterious personality, untouched with those messy hairs and well built body. Veiny hands and over built muscles, and this time I wasn't going to compromise my type again.

"I promise bhai, Zara will be safe" he said.

Safe? Are some goons behind me or what?

"I wish we're in the same class" the girl said. "I'm in PCB"

"Oh" I nodded.

"By the way, my name is Aaradhya, I'm his cousin and we can meet almost every tune as we're neighbours"

Aaradhya said, pointing at the guy. I was too confused what else to say, so I just nodded and mumbled "okay"

Would I look full of attitude? I really didn't wanted to look like that but what could I do?

They kept talking.

I kept nodding.

It's my toxic trait—if I don't know what to say, I nod like a bobblehead and hope the conversation drives itself into a wall.

Aaradhya's voice was chirpy, like someone who genuinely wanted to make friends, but also low-key intimidated me just by existing. Like girl, why are you so nice and so pretty? Pick a struggle.

"Chale, we're getting late" Sid broke the conversation as I nodded, shrugging off my shoulders.

Aaradhya walked along Sid, when I heard some footsteps.

I didn't need to turn and watch that it was the boy.

"Hello, Anamika" the boy said, his voice husky. He bent towards me, while I repulsed the action by looking at a blank place.

"My... my name is Zara" I told him, my voice laced with hesitation.

"I didn't knew your name, that's why I called you.... Anamika.... 'The name with no name'"
He said, his voice slower, as if he intended to talk like that.

His adam's apple bobbed, our eyes met. He walked forward, when I'd simply breathe.

I know the shit is real when my mind circulates, "so Zara.... My name is Agastya," he said.

"Umm, okay?" I asked.

I nodded as we walked into the lift.

Aaradhya, Sid and Agastya were talking with each other as if they knew each other from a century.

I blinked at them, confused. Like how can they even talk in this early morning, when I was all groggy, wanted to go back and curl up to my bed.

For now, I just wanted to make them quiet or just have my phone so that I can talk with my ChatGPT.

**

In the bus, Sid sat along Agastya while Aaradhya was talking with me. Oh to have this energy, I truly admired her.

"Zara" Aaradhya asked.

"Hm?" I questioned back, looking at her.

"Kya hua? Why aren't you talking?"

"Yaar, I'm more a listener aur tum bolo na"

By the time we reached the classroom, my brain was already begging for a nap and a new identity.

Aaradhya waved goodbye before heading to her PCB battleground, and Sid had already disappeared into his science nerd cave. That left me standing near the classroom door, clutching my bag like it could shield me from the madness.

And madness, of course, had already arrived. I was left alone with him.

"Main aapko kaat nahi jaunga" He said, when I raised my furrows.

(I won't bite you)

"Huh?"

"I mean you're standing as if I'll hurt you" he said, looking mock offended.

Of course, now I won't walk with him as a couple.

I sat on the last bench, which was completely empty, but before I'd peacefully sit there, this guy... the one who's on the verge of making my head burst came and sit along me.

Noooo.

The least thing I wanted was this type of attention on the first day of my high school, and now that he sat along with me I can't ask him to change his seat or else everyone will make another rumour out of it.

Idiot, Agastya.